Bullying in the Workplace

Nearly forty percent of American workers say they have experienced workplace bullying, according to a 2007 study by research firm Zogby International. A University of Minnesota report released in March 2008 found the emotional toll associated with workplace bullying can be more severe than that of sexual harassment.

Bullying in the workplace takes so many forms. Among them:

Humiliating comments or actions : Making comments or taking action desired to humiliate you is a form of bullying. In a meeting or at the water cooler, you offer what you think is a good idea. A bully smirks and calls you a moron. A bully laughs at you or mocks you in public.

Excessive yelling : A boss can disapprove of your performance. A boss can be upset if you're repeatedly late. But none of that is an excuse to be a screamer -- in private or in front of others. Yelling repeatedly is a bully tactic.

Undermining your status at work: This includes withholding key information from you. Excluding you from an e-mail distribution once could be an oversight. Doing it consistently, or always intentionally leaving you out of meetings when you ought to be in the loop, is the pattern of a bully.

Failing to give credit: Just as damaging is failing to give you the credit you're due. If you're working diligently and producing results but the boss or a colleague refuses to acknowledge you or your contribution on an ongoing basis -- as if you simply don't exist -- that's bullying.

After I reported on this topic for Good Morning America, I heard from hundreds of people who experienced bully tactics. While there is no single solution – no magic fairy dust to sprinkle to get a bully to change his or her ways – there are some smart steps workers can take to stop bullies from continuing to target them.

Stop it on the spot: If you can, nip it on the spot. People who bully do it because they can, and they won't stop until someone stops them. So if you're feeling strong, tell them firmly and directly, "Don't speak to me that way. I'm professional and cordial to you, and I expect the same in return."

Walk away from a tirade: You can also walk away. As a child, you might have had to sit still and take it from an intimidating parent; not so at work. Stand up and excuse yourself. "I have to go to the restroom." "I have an appointment." "I need some water." This is especially useful if you're on the verge of getting emotional which you don't want a bully to witness.

Confront the bully calmly: When you've taken a breath and have had a chance to compose your thoughts, calmly confront the bully. Cite examples of the behavior that has been humiliating or demeaning and state that you expect it to stop. No name calling, just facts delivered in a reasoned manner.

Document the abuse: Documenting bully behavior is really important. Without the facts of when, where, witnesses and so on all clearly spelled out in writing you risk being brushed off as a petty complainer or tattletale. You can sound like you're upset that someone is picking on you or that you're thin-skinned. Going to HR or a top manager is serious -- and to be taken seriously you want to present the facts. Facts are much harder to dispute and to ignore than emotions. And by putting everything in writing as it happens, you're less likely to forget key details.

Leave a toxic culture: Many people emailed me to ask if it's ok to quit a job where the boss is a bully. They worried about being seen as a coward or a quitter. Sometimes leaving is the best and the only solution. The critics may say that's giving in to the bullies – those bullies would like nothing more than to see you cry uncle and quit. But instead of worrying what they may or may not think, do what you know in your head and your heart is best for you. Your mental health and self-esteem are far more important than any one position. As hard as it may be to pound the pavement, you can always get a new job but it's far more challenging to rebuild your crushed confidence and your declining health.

Express support for co-workers: This is not a problem limited solely to the nearly 40% of workers who say they've been targets of bullying; this is a significant workplace challenge that all of us should care about. None of us should sit in silence. If you see something, say something. That doesn't mean gossiping or getting confrontational. Let someone know that you see what they're going through and you'll support them any way you can.

Talk to management: When it's feasible, speak up to management about what you've witnessed. If you're concerned about pointing fingers, show them articles on the costs of bully-related absenteeism, high turnover and productivity loss. Since bullying is costly to the company's bottom line, that may cause them to take note. You can also suggest the introduction of company policies that support a healthy workplace.

Contact lawmakers: Several states have anti-bullying legislation pending. Contact your state lawmakers where bills may be pending on anti-bullying/healthy workplace legislation. If no such proposal has been introduced, make your opinions known if you feel strongly about the need for such laws.